Another List to Ponder.......

[Grant]

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

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2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? (My sentiments exactly)

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3. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?

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4. There are three religious truths:
a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.

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5. If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

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6. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

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7. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

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8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

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9. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

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10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

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11. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

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12. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

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13 Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

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14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

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! 15. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me...they're cramming for their final exam.

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16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?

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17. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

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18. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

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19. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

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20. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

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21. If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

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22. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

24. As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together, it spells
'THEIRS'?

[Cawar]

Old news...almost as old as you are..

[Shirib]

[quote="Grant"]
19. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
[/quote]

Thats so true

[Niya]

Lol@@@#14! good question.

[galia]

[quote="Cawar"]Old news...almost as old as you are.. [/quote]

Cawar shut the crap up, atelast grant ain't a traitor.

Thanks for that interesting info grant.
8)

[AbdiWahab252]

Thank you Grant for brightening up my morning.

[Cawar]

War aniga islaantaan HGta sheegata maxaa i daba dhigay?? naa naga fuq kuwii horaaban maaro iskaga la'anahaye...acuudu billah..

Stop breathing Cawar... Oo dar alla ku dag

[kambuli]

Grant,

Thanks for the post..It was interesting and funny...


Cawar,

Kuwee hore???

[Grant]

I do hope Cawar hasn't seen this one!

CAN U ANSWER THESE 2 QUESTIONS?

a couple of tricky questions

Question 1:

If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids
already, three who were deaf, two who were blind,
one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would
you recommend that she have an abortion?


Read the next question before looking at the
response for this one.



Question 2:

It is time to elect a new world leader, and only
your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three
candidates.



Candidate A.
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults
with astrologist. He's had two mistresses. He also
chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.



Candidate B.
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until
noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of
whiskey every evening.



Candidate C
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian,
doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never
cheated on his wife.




Which of these candidates would be our choice?
Decide first... no peeking, then scroll down for the
response.



-------------------------------------------------------------

Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion
question: If you said YES, you just killed
Beethoven.

Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think
before judging someone.
Wait till you see the end of this note! Keep
reading..


And Finally, can you imagine working for a company
that has a little more than 500 employees and has
the following statistics:
* 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
* 7 have been arrested for fraud
* 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
* 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at
least 2 businesses
* 3 have done time for assault
* 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
* 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
* 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
* 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
* 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the
last year...

Can you guess which organization this is?

Give up yet?

It's the 535 members of the United States Congress.
The same group that crank out hundreds of new laws each year
designed to keep the rest of us in line.


(

[Gatspy]

22. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

lmao. very good question.

[jamalllll]

Grant
Thanks

A very good read indeed.

Are you saying that we must not use reason as a guide to better choices?

As a voter one is surely going to choose on evidence at hand ..unless one can read the stars ofcourse

what do you think?


You mentioned helping somalia once grant can you see if you may be able to contribute to SOMALIREVOLUTIOM .

We are currently seeking ideas . the discussion is on a tread called "WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS IDEA" that i posted. or you can contact The-screw..

thanks