DAD WITH 3 WIVES HEARTACHE OVER SON WHO WANT TO HAVE 1 WOMAN

[Daanyeer]

'It saddens me that polygamy hasn't connected with him': Father with three wives on heartache over son, 21, who only wants to be with one woman

By Deborah Arthurs
PUBLISHED: 14:08 GMT, 3 August 2012 | UPDATED: 14:32 GMT, 3 August 2012

A fundamentalist Mormon living in a polygamist family has revealed that one of his 24 biological sons does not intend on creating his own polygamist family.
Joe Darger, from Salt Lake City, Utah, has taken to his blog to express his heartache over 21-year-old Caleb Darger's decision to join a mainstream Mormon Church, the Church of Latter Day Saints, which does not support polygamy.
The father, who has three wives that all live in the same house as him, wrote: 'It saddened my heart to think one of the most sacred and important parts of my lives was not fully connected with my son'.

He is the son of 42-year-old Vicki Darger, who lives with her twin sister Valerie - also married to Joe - and their 43-year-old cousin Alina - also married to Joe.


Joe also wrote: 'Such is the consequence of choice. I was both happy for him and sad for me.'
He continued: 'Choice by its nature means our children will not choose right all the time, or certainly will not choose what I think is right. Yet I believe that is God's plan as well.'

Joe's polygamous marriage is illegal in 50 American states - and has resulted in him being excommunicated from the Mormon church.

He is a fifth generation polygamist and said in May that he wants to fight to have his plural marriage officially recognised by society.
He appeared the breakfast television show This Morning alongside his wives.
But while Caleb is not so approving, his sister Amanda, who is Valerie's biological daughter, has stuck to her parents' desired path.
The 20-year-old, who is engaged to be married herself, has joined a traditional fundamentalist Mormon group in Arizona and has begun wearing longer dresses and a bundled hairstyle to suit her religion.

Last year, Laura, their 19-year-old sister, became the first of the siblings to marry. She had her first child just last month.
She has chosen a polygamist path, telling ABC: 'It's really hard when you actually fall in love and you love somebody so much to think of sharing them with somebody else. God changes people's hearts. You know sometimes there are things you don't think you can do but when God asks you, you do it.'

Vicki and Alina have been married to Joe for 22 years after dating Joe simultaneously when they were just 18.

Vicki's twin sister Valerie was married to Joe 12 years ago after her own polygamous union - with a man who had six other wives - broke down.
Joe told the breakfast show in May: 'Originally polygamy was part of the Mormon history, and that's what we still believe. Our story is about faith and family and freedom. In today's culture where family is being looked at, ours is one of the oldest forms of family out there.
Alina added: 'By being public we risk being prosecuted by the State. Things have got to change. We have a great family life and want the same civil rights as everyone else.'
The Dargers were investigated by state authorities several years ago for their beliefs and attempted to keep their plural marriage secret for many years.
But two years ago, they decided to talk about their relationship to raise awareness, and to try to overcome prejudices against their religion and lifestyle.
Practitioners are almost never prosecuted unless there is evidence of abuse, statutory rape, welfare fraud or tax evasion.
The three wives and their husband co-wrote a book titled Love Times Three and some of their adult children also contributed to the story.
Joe's wives say the situation suits them perfectly too.

When asked if they would swap their current situation to have Joe to themselves, all replied that they would not.
'Our marriage is fulfilling and wonderful,' said Vicki, while Valerie said she was 'grateful.'
'The others learned a lot before I came along, they helped to shape Joe into the man he is today, so I'm forever grateful for that,' she says.


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